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Sunday, March 22, 2009

Funny: Australia's Stimulus Package

Australian Prime Minister Revin Kudd answers questions about his stimulus package.

Q.  What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? 

A.  It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. 


Q. Where will the government get this money? 

A.  From taxpayers.  


Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money?  

A.  Only a smidgen. 

Q.  What is the purpose of this payment? 

A.  The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.  


Q.  But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?  

A.  Shut up. 


Below are some helpful guidelines on what to avoid spending your payment on: 

  • If you spend that money at K-Mart, all the money will go to China.
  • If you spend it on petrol it will go to the Middle East.
  • If you purchase a computer it will go to India and China.
  • If you purchase fruit and vegetables from Woolworths or Coles, it will go to China and Mexico (unless you buy organic).
  • If you buy a car it will go to Japan and Korea.
  • If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan. 


None of the above will help the Australian economy. We need to keep that money here in Australia.

You can keep the money in Australia by spending it on one of the few businesses still owned in Australia – ''. So when your stimulus money arrives, buy yourself some cool and uplifting oils and books crafted by a goddess sister. In fact, buy lots of it. You know that bookshelf you always wanted to start? Now is the right time. You know that big girls'-night-in you're planning? Stock up now with oils to get the party started.

It's such a simple solution I don't know why nobody's thought of it before.

  • Stimulate the Australian economy
  • Stimulate's bank account
  • Stimulate yourself

Enjoy your week :-)

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